One who has had a glimpse of samadhi in sex, however fleeting, will immediately know the difference between inside and outside, between freedom and imprisonment. But, in a way, we are all born into tight cells, closed in by walls, and they are dark and dirty. It is essential to realize the outside world exists; this knowledge ultimately inspires us to fly out. But a person who does not open the window and just sits in a corner saying he does not want to know about the dirty house cannot change his situation one bit. He will remain in the dirty house forever.
A self-styled celibate is as much imprisoned in the cell of sex as anyone else. The only difference between him and you is that he has a closed attitude whereas your eyes are open. What you do physically, he does mentally. Moreover, the physical act is natural, but the vicarious imagination of it is a perversion. So I urge you not to be against sex but to try, sympathetically, to understand it. Give sex a sacred status in your life. We have already discussed two guidelines. The third important thing to remember is the attitude of your approach. At the time of coitus, we are close to God. God exists in the act of creation that gives birth to a new life, and so one’s attitude ought to be like that of a man going to a temple or to a church. At the time of orgasm, we are closest to the Supreme. We become instruments: a new life is being conveyed into existence; we create a child. How? In intercourse, we are closest to the Creator himself, and his shadow converts us into creators as well. If we approach sex with a pure mind and with a feeling of reverence, we can easily have a glimpse of him.
But alas, we approach sex indifferently. We approach sex with an attitude of condemnation, with a feeling of guilt, and we fail to feel the existence of the Creator. One should never approach sex while one is in anguish, in spite, in jealousy, in indignation; one should never approach sex filled with worries or in an unclean atmosphere. But the general practice is the contrary. The more one is full of anger, dejected, in torment or in despair, the more one moves into sex. A cheerful man does not chase after sex, but a sorrowful man moves into sex because he sees it as the perfect escape from his unhappiness. But remember, if you approach sex with bitterness, with irritation, with condemnation or in sadness, you will never attain to that contentment, to that realization for which your entire soul thirsts. I urge you to approach sex only when you are cheerful, only when you are full of love and, last but not least, only when you are prayerful. Only when you feel that your heart is full of joy, peace, and gratitude, should you think of having intercourse. A man who approaches intercourse like this can attain sublimation, and the ultimate realization, even once, is enough to free one from sex forever. With one single experience, you can break through the barrier and enter the periphery of samadhi.
A child emerging from its mother’s womb is in great distress; it is like a tree being uprooted from the soil. Its whole being yearns to rejoin with the earth; its attachment to the earth means its life, its vitality, its nourishment. It has been uprooted, and it clamors to go back, for now, it has been severed from the lifeline. An infant is cut off from its world when it comes out of the mother’s womb, and now its soul, its whole being wanted to reunite with the mother, with the source. This longing is the thirst for love. What else do we mean by love? Everyone wants to indulge in the give and take of love; everyone wants to reunite with the stream of life – and that unity comes in the consummation of the sexual act, in intercourse, in the joining of a man and a woman. Sex is the re-experience of the original unity.
The coupling of a man and a woman has a very deep significance: the ego evaporates in this assimilation of two human beings. A person who really understands the essence of this unity, of this longing for love and oneness, can also comprehend the meaning of yet another kind of unity – a yogi unites; an ascetic unites; a saint unites; a meditator unites. A person is also united in intercourse: his identity merges with that of the other person, and they become one. In samadhi, a person unites with the whole universe and becomes one with it. In sex, there is a merging of two persons, whereas, in samadhi, a person loses his identity and becomes one with the universe. A meeting between two persons is temporary, but the union of a person with the universe is eternal. Any two people are finite beings, and hence their union cannot be infinite, cannot be ever-lasting. And there is the rub; there is the limitation of matrimony, and of physical love: we cannot unite forever. We come together for a moment of ecstasy, but again we have to be separate. The separation is painful and so lovers are in a continuous state of despair. The other person seems to be the cause of this feeling of dejection, of this sense of aloneness, and irritation erupts in the relationship.
Knowledgeable people will say that two people have two basically different identities and that they can meet temporarily but cannot remain fused forever, even spiritually; that it is out of this unquenchable passion that a conflict arises between lovers and that one starts despising the other; that tension, strife, a feeling of alienation and even a feeling of hatred creeps in, and that it is because one imagines the other is probably unwilling and so the merger is not complete. But no individual can be blamed for this incompleteness. Human beings are finite beings and their merging can only be finite as well. Their merging cannot be forever. The eternal fusion can only be with God, with Brahma, with Existence. Those who have realized the subtlety of intercourse can imagine if a moment’s union with an individual can bestow such bliss, what the outcome of the meeting with the Eternal must be like. But the average man cannot even imagine that peak of ecstasy. It is stupendous, ethereal, beyond words. It is bliss eternal.
Suppose you are sitting in front of a candle, trying to imagine the difference between the light of the candle and the light of the sun. The attempt at comparison is hopeless. A candle is such a tiny thing and the sun is so immense, about sixty thousand times bigger than our earth. Although it is ninety-three million miles away it heats us, scorches us, so how can we possibly estimate the difference between the light of a candle and the light of the sun? But, no matter what the astronomical figure may be, it is mathematically possible to calculate the difference, because both are within the range of human cognition; the difference can be ascertained. But it is impossible to assess the differential between the ecstasy of orgasm and the eternal bliss of samadhi. The sexual meeting of two temporal beings is frantic; in uniting with the Universal one loses oneself like a drop in the ocean. There is no way to compare them, no unit to measure the magnitude of this union.
Would one hanker after sex after touching this bliss? Would one even think of this fleeting pleasure after one has attained the eternal ocean? A glimpse of the eternal convinces man that sensual pleasure is meaningless, that by contrast, it is madness. Then, one’s present passions soon become obnoxious; then, they seem like a drain, a waste of energy, a source of anguish. After this certainty dawns on a man, he is on his way to the desired goal, to celibacy itself. It is a long way from sex to samadhi. Samadhi is the ultimate goal; sex is only the first step. And I want to point out that those who refuse to recognize the first step, who censure the first step, cannot even reach the second step. They cannot progress at all. It is imperative to take the first step with consciousness, understanding, and awareness. But be warned: sex is not an end in itself; sex is the beginning. To progress, more and more steps are required. – OSHO